White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

I have never considered myself to be racist. It is not simply that I was among those students who “initially deny any personal prejudice” as Beverly Tatum states, but I have almost always been open about race relations, I have interacted with members from all groups, and worked to integrate different cultural perspectives into my daily life. My earliest teachings from my parents were inclusive, and for me racism was a concept I had heard about, but couldn’t really understand.

Growing up, there were times when I sought to purposefully marginalize myself. Seeing me now with my average hair, average clothes, and average lifestyle, it might be difficult to envision me with a blue Mohawk, torn jeans, and anarchy symbol tee shirt. I am not in any way attempting to make a claim that I was ever a victim of racism (underneath the costume I remained, after all, a Caucasian Male – with all that that implies), but I have some experience with being the Other. I have had problems with being followed while shopping, being treated differently while in public, being insulted, and prejudged because of my appearance. No matter how hard core I looked, I was always the same polite, helpful, and somewhat shy person I remain today. I think dressing this way was my effort, consciously or unconsciously, to remove my Invisible Knapsack. Perhaps I thought I didn’t need it or want it, so I did my best to get rid of it.

I realize now that the only problem with this scenario is that I could pick up the Knapsack again easily, whenever I wanted it, well, it was there. If I was sick of being marginalized, well, a change of clothes and a hat easily reintegrate me into the status quo. I could fit into a sports bar as easily as I could fit into a punk show. I could shop without fear of being hassled, and be sure that I would not be prejudged because of how I looked.

Looking back, I can see the effect that white privilege has had on my life. My scores in high school were abysmal, and I cannot help but wonder if a student of another race would have faced a more severe punishment. I have worked in predominately white industries; the film industry (which employed mostly white actors working for white directors and producers using a white crew) and as a web developer (working in a marketing company trying to sell products to white people using white models for the white owners of various companies.) Even now, I can’t help but think that privilege secured this placement for me; being a male seems to be a good thing for a person who wants to be an elementary school teacher – although not necessarily white privilege, certainly a privilege based on gender.

I hope that I can internalize these lessons, and not find ACE and MCE to be as difficult or terrible proposition as some people quoted in “Teaching for Equity and Diversity”. Treating multiculturalism should neither be ignored nor should it be considered analogous to Halloween. There must be balance, focus, and open discussion. These ideas should inform almost every decision I make in the classroom, from the posters on the walls, to my choice of texts, to how information is presented. And I am certain this is only scratching the surface, but I am trying to keep this to one page.